on last thursday, 24/6/2010
the day i went to did my surgery at Adelaide Dental Hospital
my appointment at first been schedule at 2.30 pm...
but been changed to 3.30 pm...
alright...as long as u all notify me about the changes
i am fine about it...
so that morning...
i wake up as normal..
but not going to school as i will have the surgery on late of evening..
actually just feel bored to go to school...huhuhhu
dats actually the true reason..
i donno what to said anymore...
my soul already dead..
just my body is still continue my duty in here as a student
i just pray solat hajat before going out to city...
hopefully everything goes well...
i am alone in here to face all this terrible things..
ohhh my Mighty...please grant me a lots of patient and strength...
after went to school..i went to international school
actually I just thought that OSHC representative will come to Uni..
but pity me..i just came on the wrong day...
huhuhu...
never mind..i still need to come to city also as my operation already been scheduled
then i go and eat something...
as i know after this it will be so difficult for me to eat..
so i need to give some foods for my tummy first..
after i just finished my meals..
aini come, great me and join together with me on the same table...
well have a cit chat for a moment...
she ask me..why coming to city...
as my campus in not in city...
i just smile to her and said..
just got something to do in here...
dats my way...
i dont want to let other people know what the things
that i am suffering at this time being...
because i thought..it will just a waste only
after all, nobody will understood my problems...
so it's better to shut up my mouth
after my meals, I just went to do window shopping at some of the shops nearby..
well looks like Rundle Mall have a great sale...wit wit..i love sale...hehehhehe
just planning to buy something in my mind...
hehehehhe
but after wondering there is just a few hundred dollar less in my bank acct..
so it just end up as a window shopping only..
hmm i need to spend my money very carefully..
as i am not really well in here..sick there..sick here..
haiyaa...what to do..this is task from Him..
to ensure that i manage to handle it..
i need to use lots of money to pay for my treatment in here..
yeah maybe i can claim it..
but i still need to used my own pocket money at first before can claim it...
hmmm...then the claim also not guarantee u will get 100% the amount that u paid..
okok enough time for shopping...
shoh shoh..going back to the right pathway...
hehehhee...after dat when back to surau uni..
to performe my zohor prayer...
auww...so peaceful..nobody there...
just grab the chance to perform another solat hajat after my zohor prayer...
ohhh My Lord..please help me to face all this...
i am alone in here...
nobody here to care and worry about me...
only to u..I pray and ask for a help...
then razinah come after i just finish my solat hajat...
another same questions...
why u are here..
oppss the same answer i give her..
have somethings to do in here...
wink wink...
then perform my asar prayer...
and just start to move to Adelaide Dental Hospital...
just feel so worry..so tense..so lost on that moment..
i arrived quite early...3.10 pm..whereas my appointment at 3.30pm
after several minutes..ohh why my name not been call yet..
i already get worried as I thought they might be not aware about me..
i just go and ask the receptionist at 4.00 pm like that...
the receptionist said no worries..i notice about u..
just the turn quite far behind as the is a delay..fuhh release a little bit..
10 mins after that, one nurse call my name and guide me to operation room...
i just saw a few doctors there..just have a discussion on my facial ct scan image...
oh my Lord..i am so scared...my body start to shacking...
i am really scared my Lord...
this is my first time having an operation..
some more i am alone...nobody there with me to give moral support...
after been explain about the procedures by the doctor and sign all the form that i need to sign
the operation had started...
lots of audience there..seems people watching a movie in that room..
yeah the movie is my surgery..
good one yeah...
the doctor ask me is it OK if all the doctors are there to watch for my surgery...
i donno what to said..just i shake my head as a signal of approval...
then doctor conduct local anaesthetic
ohh my goodness..my body shacking more harder...
i just cant control it..it just happen...
i am a wake and i can hear their conversation...
but i just close my eyes from start of the operation until the end
as i am really scared at this time..
only Allah know my feeling on that time...
i start to cry..as i felt really scared...
soon the surgery began...
i do cry lots and lots..until my glass that i wore can't see anythings..
just blur vision that i can capture through my pair of eyes...
arrghhhh it's really painful..even i had been anaesthetic..
but still i can feel the pain...ohhh Lord...
my body shacking more and more faster...
my tears comes out like a running water already..
at one moment, i just scream with a weak sound..
arrghh..and the doctor just said sorry...
he know that i am in pain right now..
so he didnt brutally dig on my gum like digging the treasure..
hukhukhuk....
after nearly one hour..my operation done..
but i can't stop crying..
doctor just said...dont worry it's done already..
u really a brave girl..and u do really well...
hmm i know doctor just wanna to comfort my feeling..
huhuh it helps even though just might be 5% only..
but still it help me to recover back my emotional back to normal
then i been guide to go out from the building...
as the time already 5.10pm..
huhuhu..doctor also like wanna rushing going back already...
after that, just waiting for Min to company me to buy medicine at pharmacy
haiyakkk...people that are sick also need to buy their own medicine..
with their own money some more..
so poor system..really a terrible to patient only...
after bought the medicine..we went back...
it's getting more painful right now..
as the anaesthetic dose slowly decrease
arrghhh i cry a lots..
crying and crying and crying...
just thought why me..
why i am the one that need to faced all this..
why in here..where i am alone..
nobody here to look after me...
after had my meals..take my medicine..and tired already cry all the night..
i just take my deep sleep...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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